Revelation

It has taken me a long time to realize this - but, I don't think that I was born to be a leader.  I have been fighting this my whole life.  I wanted to move up, "prove" myself, have people respect me, etc....I have learned recently to be careful what you wish for.

Lately, I have come to realize that I was much happier when I didn't have the responsibilities that come with being a so-called leader.  Before, I thought that I needed to strive to move up to the next level, that I had more to offer that couldn't be achieved where I was.  Now - I am starting to learn that no matter what level you are at, you can be as effective or more effective than  if you were the CEO of the company.  It all depends on what gifts you have that you can use for the greater good.

I don't think I am gifted with leadership.  I have discovered that I don't like being a supervisor over anyone.  It's not that I've had a bad experience (I just work with 1 person who is an easy employee.) - I just am not comfortable with it and don't believe that I am good at it.

I believe that I am good at what I do as an analyst.  I enjoy working on my own and knowing that I have done a good job at a task - and I get great satisfaction out of that.  I think there is something to be said for being a hard-worker and getting the task completed correctly and efficiently.  And, no matter how much I have tried to fight against it - this is how I am wired.

My grandfather once said that in life there are work horses and there are show horses.  I am wired to be a work horse...I am beginning to embrace that.  It is not easy all the time - but I am beginning to realize that what I thought I wanted for myself, may not be where God has gifted me to be.